


Lost Promises and Broken Dreams

by Leya



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergence, Grace Sharing, M/M, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Graphic Violence, Protective Castiel, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-20 13:03:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1511543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leya/pseuds/Leya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving heaven Gabriel always thought that there was absolutely nothing that could make him choose a side. He was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all thank you for my wonderful beta [Lightning_Bee](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightning_Bee/pseuds/Lightning_Bee) for her incredible patience and helpful suggestions. Without her this story wouldn't have been written at all.
> 
> [h4ppy-fun-b4ll](http://h4ppy-fun-b4ll.livejournal.com/) created the amazing art for this story. You can check her work out [here](http://h4ppy-fun-b4ll.livejournal.com/14062.html) or at the end of each chapter.

**+++**

**Chapter 1**

**+++**

 

The return of Dean Winchester was something every angel in creation had been waiting for.

Gabriel was sitting in a bar, celebrating the trick he just had brought to a close, when he felt it happen. Unbridled power, so raw and intense it made his heart bleed in anticipation and fear surged through the ether, connecting every angel in creation with the same jubilant message.

The youngest archangel closed his eyes, pretending for a short moment that everything was alright but he already knew that he was only deceiving himself.

Now that the righteous man had been raised from perdition he just had to face the truth and accept that his days on earth were numbered. The last fight between his brothers was nigh and when it was over one of them would be dead and the other one would either burn the world to ashes or bring paradise to earth. Gabriel wasn’t sure which prospect worried him more.

_Maybe he should use what little time he had left to arrange his affairs._

Sighing the archangel pushed his beer aside and stood up. He had been dreading and anticipating this special moment in equal measures like all the other angels but knowing something and finally experiencing it were two very different things. Slightly shell-shocked he realised that it was finally time to say his last goodbye to the world he had slowly learned to love ever since it had become his home after running away from heaven.

Ignoring the curious look of the bartender for leaving his untouched glass of whiskey behind Gabriel quickly exited the bar. He needed to think everything over, needed to decide what he wanted to do now that everything would soon come to an end. The door closed behind him with a soft thud but Gabriel didn't move. For a moment he just stood there, staring blankly at the small houses at the opposite side of the street.

It was over.

Reality came crushing down on him and Gabriel desperately tried to swallow the bile rising in his throat. He wasn’t ready, there were so many things that needed to be taken care of... no. Determined not to give into the first stirring of panic deep inside his chest Gabriel decided that it was time to make the best of this messed up situation. Only he needed more information first. He had been out of commission for far too long and, when dealing with the host, even the smallest insecurity could prove fatal.

Fortunately he knew exactly who to consult in that matter.

He would pay a visit to the Winchesters, just to see how quickly the apocalypse was progressing, and then he would take a long, nice vacation on the other side of the earth until destiny inevitably caught up with him.

Concentrating on finding the rather unique soul of Dean Winchester he closed his eyes. Seconds later Gabriel vanished with a quick snap of his fingers.

 

+++

 

Some things never changed.

It was something Gabriel noticed almost immediately after he appeared inside the small motel room the Winchesters were currently calling home. At first Gabriel had thought that Sam finally had learned the lesson the archangel had tried to teach him so long ago but now, as he watched the brothers discussing their severe trust-issues while simultaneously trying to pretend that everything was fine, Gabriel had to admit that all his efforts had been futile.

The Righteous Man and his gullible brother. Hidden from view by using a small amount of his grace Gabriel shook his head, forcibly denying himself the pleasure of teaching those stupid kids another lesson. His fingers were itching with the need to smite this holier-than-thou behaviour right out of the elder Winchester but, to be fair, Sammy was just as annoying. How on earth someone could believe _anything_ a demon told them was completely beyond Gabriel.

Well, at least the apocalypse wasn't already in full swing which left Gabriel enough time to take care of some rather important matters. There was absolutely no need to watch those clingy and co-dependent humans any longer. Satisfied that there was no need for him to change his plans, Gabriel raised his hand to snap himself away but paused when the subtle shifts in the ether warned him about the arrival of one of his brothers.

_Damn._

Gabriel felt torn. His natural curiosity fought against long-learned self-preservation and the archangel just didn’t know what to do. He ought to leave. It _was_ a perfect opportunity to learn about heaven's latest plans but, on the other hand, the risk of getting his cover blown was incredibly high. He _really_ ought to leave as quickly as possible. Yet, despite the advice he had been giving himself just a few seconds ago, Gabriel caught himself waiting against better knowledge.

_He had always been too curious for his own good._

The soft humming accompanying his brother's grace made him realise how close the other angel already was. To flee now would mean he would attract his brother’s attention without a shred of doubt. Content that the decision was out of his hands he once more settled against the wall, waiting.

This should be interesting.

"Dean."

The older Winchester jumped in shock when the new arrival showed up right next to him, their bodies so close they just needed to lean forward a little bit more to reach kissing distance.

"Damn it, Cas! Personal space!"

"My apologies." Castiel answered solemnly and took one careful step back.

It looked like a ritual they did quite often and Gabriel almost snorted in amusement but quickly refrained from doing so. It would be rather foolish to go through all the efforts of staying hidden just to expose himself because he wasn't able to keep his mouth shut. Instead he quickly assessed his brother's appearance and couldn’t help but wonder; Castiel was old enough to have gathered enough practice in wearing a vessel but still his movements were awkward, displaying a heart-breaking insecurity. And where the hell did he find this outfit? A trench-coat? Seriously? Although Gabriel had to admit it _was_ kind of cute.

"What do you want? We don’t have much time. There’s a hunt waiting and..."

"We need to talk, Dean. It’s important."

The hunter just raised one eyebrow, clearly waiting for Castiel to continue. The angel momentarily seemed at a loss for words but soon composed himself. "The next seal..."

"No."

Castiel tilted his head to one side, clearly nonplussed by Dean’s blatant refusal. "We don’t have time for this. You need to listen. There are many things you are not aware of..."

"Like what?" Again Dean interrupted the angel in mid-sentence. "That you're willing to annihilate a complete city just to get rid of one witch? Or that you're blindly following orders regardless of what's wrong or right? You know what, Cas? Just fuck off and leave us alone."

"Don’t waste my time with this childish behaviour of yours, Dean. There are important things we need to talk about and your behaviour is far from being reasonable."

Gabriel silently nodded his approval as his brother almost effortlessly stood his ground. Little Castiel sure had grown up. Although he hadn’t seen his brother for more than two or three millenniums now the archangel still vividly remembered the cheerful fledgling with the innocent eyes and curious mind. Far too shy and far too polite, Castiel had been a real pushover but now... yes, Castiel was an angel Father definitely could be proud of.

"Yeah, you already told me so before. Guess what? I don’t care!"

Ouch. Gabriel shook his head in utter disbelief. Dean definitely had balls. Or maybe he was just plain suicidal. On the other hand when the angels had been stupid enough to let Dean Winchester know how important he was it was no wonder that the hunter used every chance he got to take advantage of the situation. He was obnoxious like that.

"Is that so?" Castiel tilted his head to one side, something that should have looked endearing but only served to emphasize the danger emanating from him. "You should show a little more respect. I saved you from hell and I can throw you back in just as quickly."

Never before had Gabriel seen his brother this angry. He didn’t even know Castiel had it in him to lose control like that. Who would have thought the youngest angel could be this demanding?

"I advise you think about your next actions before you endanger everything we’ve worked for so far!"

The archangel quickly raised his head. Castiel’s true voice was rolling through the ether like thunder and to Gabriel’s utter disbelief he found his grace responding almost eagerly. Terrified of exposing himself he quickly strengthened the bindings that were keeping his true self hidden.

_Could it be...?_

"I will give you some time to think things through. When I return I expect you to act accordingly."

With a swirl of his trench-coat Castiel was gone. Gabriel stared at the place the other angel had been standing just a mere second ago, lips pressed into a thin line of rigorous determination.

_He had to know._

Without a moment’s hesitation he unfurled his wings and followed his brother. To his surprise Castiel hadn’t gone far. He was standing in the middle of a small clearing and seemed completely lost in thought. Gabriel carefully approached him.

Now that he was this close to his brother the truth became painfully obvious.

His mate.

After all those millenniums he had spend in hiding the bond to his mate was still intact. He couldn’t quite believe it. How long had he dreamed about this special moment? Back when he still had been God’s messenger he had planned the first meeting with his mate with meticulous precision, had spent years trying to come up with the perfect way to conquer his mate’s heart. Settling down and finding true happiness had been everything Gabriel ever wanted in his life and now that he had it right in front of his eyes he could do... nothing.

But just one short touch couldn’t hurt. Right? Right. Gabriel bit down on his bottom lip, worrying the soft flesh between his teeth.

Should he risk it? He could lose everything and yet... No. Not after all that time he had spent in hiding. They both were better off continuing their separate lives. Involuntarily one thin tendril of his grace reached out, hovering in the air behind the younger angel, longing but not daring to touch and Gabriel had to use all his self restraint to keep his emotions under control.

Maybe no-one would notice.

Yes. Sure. Who was he kidding? Father was long gone and just because Michael had failed in his duty to cut off the binding between Castiel and his ‘dead’ mate it didn’t mean he could throw caution into the wind.

It was harder then he ever imagined it to be.

He had finally found the one missing part he had been yearning for so long now. To deny himself contact with his mate was pure torture. Suddenly he just couldn't stand it any longer and reached out his hand, gently brushing his fingers down the soft feathers of Castiel's right wing.

The younger angel whirled around immediately, sword already in his hand, only to find that he was completely alone. Frowning at the empty space that still seemed to linger with the faint memory of another presence Castiel took one careful step forward.

_Castiel..._

The voice of the angel’s superior prevented a further investigation. A second later Castiel was gone and Gabriel reappeared, fervently cursing himself for being so careless.

 

**+++**

**Chapter 2**

**+++**

 

If Zachariah had known that his day would turn out like this, he surely would have stayed as far away from his office as possible. However, unfortunately for him, the archangels had entrusted him with the task of guaranteeing that the apocalypse was running its planned course and being the one responsible meant he had to be present to witness what was just another failure.

And to think that in the beginning everything had seemed so promising.

Zachariah still couldn’t believe how one by one all his well-laid plans had gone up in smoke. He had been rewarded with his current task because he had the reputation of being one of the best and Zachariah was determined to seize this one-off chance to set himself apart from the masses. So far his efforts had paid off. After Raphael promoted him he nowadays often found himself in the presence of angels normally far above him in ranking. They noticed him and they talked to him. Sometimes they even _listened_. He was offered a whole new life and it was something he never wanted to miss again.

He had sacrificed almost everything for his job. His private life was non-existent, he wasn’t even sure if his mate would still talk to him but as long as he was successful it was worth it.

At the moment it seemed as if all his efforts had been for nothing, though. All those things Zachariah had come to enjoy over the past months were slipping through his fingers and he wasn’t able to prevent it.

Where had he gone wrong?

Dean Winchester had gone to hell and the first seal broke far more quickly than anyone had imagined. Zachariah had chosen one unimportant little angel out of the numerous garrisons put on stand-by for the final battle and ordered him to raise Dean Winchester from perdition. So far so good. It had seemed like every other job he had taken care of in the endless millenniums of his existence and then, without warning, everything blew up in his face.

Hating someone with all his heart was a completely knew experience for Zachariah. His interactions with humans were limited due to the restrictions of his previous job but the other angels had always told him about how superior they were in contrast to those stupid mud-monkeys polluting earth with their petty fighting and careless behaviour.

The rather demeaning description he had adopted from Raphael was satisfyingly fitting, especially where the elder Winchester was concerned. Dean Winchester was loud and obnoxious and definitely not the brightest bulb in the box. Hell should have turned him into an empty shell ready to be taken over by Michael but instead he was as strong-willed and stubborn as ever, impossible to bend to heaven’s will. To cut a long story short, Dean Winchester managed within an astonishing short amount of time to become the most annoying human Zachariah had ever laid his eyes on.

Why couldn’t he be more like Sam? In Zachariah's opinion, hell could call itself lucky, seeing how the younger Winchester followed the path designed for him so long ago without hesitation. Dean on the other hand...

A soft knock at the door made him look up and his eyes darkened with disappointment at the sight of the seraph standing there, waiting for Zachariah to acknowledge him.

"Ah, Castiel. Please come in."

The youngest angel stepped over the threshold, gaze lowered in respectful silence. It would have been a perfect display of angelic behaviour if Zachariah didn't already know the truth. Before this mess Castiel had been the most promising angel his garrison had to offer but day by day it became more and more obvious that Dean Winchester seemed to be contagious. Castiel was changing. He had even started questioning his orders.

Somehow Dean corrupted everyone he came in contact with. Zachariah just didn’t understand it.

"Sit down and tell me what happened. You have been gone for quite a while now." Zachariah propped his elbows on his desk, interestedly awaiting Castiel’s report. "I heard another seal got broken."

"Yes. Unfortunately the Winchesters were not able to prevent the rising of Samhain."

"I see." Zachariah sighed regretfully. "We will find a way to secure the next seal."

Although Castiel agreed with him it was obvious that the other angel wasn't fully convinced they would succeed next time. Zachariah was far from being happy with those inconvenient sparks of rebellion. Time was running out and heaven's commander soon would be in need of his vessel.

"What do you think? Would Dean accept to be Michael’s vessel should the need arise?"

_Please..._

"No."

Damn. Zachariah pressed his lips together but when he saw the troubled look in the other angel's eyes he swallowed the harsh reproach lingering in his mouth and forced himself to smile.

He should have known that he would end up humiliated in front of his superiors _again_. Well, strictly speaking, it wasn’t him that had failed in his task but he had been the one to choose the angels responsible for preparing Dean Winchester for his role as the vessel of heaven’s commander. So far his plan had turned out to be a disaster - all thanks to the elder Winchester's stubborn nature.

But maybe it wasn't all lost. There might be a chance to make this work. A small, implausible chance but a chance nonetheless. All he had to do was to tell Castiel the truth, or at least the part of it that would ensure the seraph continued to support their cause.

It was a risk but it was definitely worth taking so Zachariah decided to put all his eggs in one basket and hope for the best.

"Let me confide a secret to you, Castiel." Zachariah leaned forward, secretively lowering his voice. "There is a good chance that we will lose this war. The seals are breaking quickly and at this rate Lucifer will walk the earth within the next five or six months."

"Dean Winchester won’t..."

"He is only human and I don’t believe he will succeed." Zachariah straightened himself. "All you need to know is that we are worried. Hell is already preparing Sam Winchester for his role as Lucifer’s vessel and from what I've heard they are quite successful. And what do we have? Nothing."

Castiel seemed at a loss for words. "I didn’t know that our cause is almost lost. I thought..."

Again Zachariah gave him no chance to finish his sentence. "Now that you know what’s at stake I hope you will be even more _encouraged_ to make sure that Dean Winchester doesn't deny his destiny any longer."

The seraph nodded mutely, a rather unhappy expression on his face. It was obvious that he wasn't fully convinced but at least he still felt enough respect for his superior to not question immediately what he had been told.

All Zachariah could do was to hope that he had made the right decision. He knew that he most probably shouldn't have told Castiel anything at all. He knew that with each little bit of information he gave out the risk of exposing the lie the archangels were feeding the host increased.

At the same time Raphael's patience was wearing thin and Zachariah needed results. As quickly as possible. Disappointing Raphael was just out of the question. Zachariah feared the healer far more than he feared any other angel of the host. Michael was heaven’s commander in their Father’s absence and only a fool would cross him but Raphael... the archangel could be insidious. Rumour had it that angels foolish enough to anger Raphael tended to vanish without a trace.

Zachariah wasn’t keen on finding out if there was any truth behind the rumours. His only chance was to turn Dean into the perfect vessel because there was no other way for him to prove his indispensability to Raphael.

Just one small success was all he needed but obviously he had to wait until his newest scheme started to bear fruits. Taking up his pen he crossed the last seemingly fool-proofed plan from his list and gestured for Castiel to leave but, to his surprise, the younger angel didn’t move.

"Is something the matter, Castiel?" A hint of anger coloured his voice but the seraph ignored it.

"Yes. I don’t know if it is of any importance but I think you should know about it."

It wasn’t as if Zachariah was overly interested in what the seraph had to say but he still needed to keep Castiel at it. At least for now. So he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest.

"All right. Tell me."

"After I left the Winchesters I was followed by another angel. He was well hidden. I couldn’t see who it was but his grace seemed to be dark and kind of twisted."

Zachariah said nothing, his mind racing. The only angel with a dark and twisted grace would be Lucifer but the Morning Star still was in the cage. But who else could it be? There were no other fallen angels around that Zachariah was aware of. Maybe Castiel mistook the supernatural signature of some other creature for some kind of grace? Or perhaps his over-imaginative mind had been playing tricks on him.

"If that’s all I expect you to..."

"His grace... the small part that wasn’t tainted, felt like a soft, calming breeze." Castiel unexpectedly cut him of. Zachariah opened his mouth to scold him for being disrespectful but the longing displayed on the other one’s face made him stop.

Castiel had closed his eyes, his mind obviously recalling every single moment of the previous encounter. "I really wish I could have seen who it was."

For a moment Zachariah felt insanely jealous and then the meaning of Castiel’s words hit him like the blow of a hammer. Almost immediately his mind wandered back to one special meeting he had taken part in only a few weeks ago.

In their meetings the other angels of Raphael’s inner circle never bothered to change a subject whenever Zachariah showed up in their meetings and so he had learned many things even Raphael wasn’t aware of.

There had been one angel in particular that seemed to be rather uncertain weather they were able to pull the apocalypse off when they obviously didn’t have the means to make it official.

How well Zachariah remembered this moment. At that time he didn’t know what the other angel was talking about but now everything just clicked into place. There only had been one angel in creation whose grace emitted the feeling of being hit by a soft summer breeze. Zachariah was far from being stupid and so the prospect that this particular angel still was alive offered him undreamed-of possibilities to make his mark. He couldn’t believe his luck. This could be the small wonder he had been looking for. He needed to talk to Raphael to confirm his suspicions and then...

"Thank you for telling me, Castiel. You can go now. I will take care of it." Zachariah quickly interrupted the other angel’s musings. "Return to your garrison. I’ll let you know when you’re needed again."

Without questioning the curious behaviour of his superior Castiel stood up and left, too lost in thought to see the greedy hunger lighting up his superior's eyes.

 

+++

 

"Castiel found one of our missing brothers."

"So it seems, Healer." Zachariah stood in the small room the archangel in question used as his office and waited for him to continue. After his conversation with Castiel he had told Raphael everything he knew and the healer had immediately informed Michael.

Now, a few days later, Raphael had sent for him again and Zachariah was curious to find out what the archangels had decided.

"We need to arrest him." Raphael stated coldly and left his desk to walk over to the window, presenting an impressive view on the office block where heavens management was seated. "Gabriel is of crucial importance to our cause. It’s quite fortunate that the rumours about his death were exceedingly exaggerated."

For long moments he watched the clouds passing by in the distance before he turned around and fixed Zachariah with a determined look in his eyes. "We need to get a hold of him before the last seal is broken."

"Of course."

Raphael shook his head disapprovingly at his confidence. "Don’t take this too lightly. It won’t be easy to catch him, Zachariah. No other angel can match the speed or agility of God’s messenger. Chasing him would only result in him laughing at us."

"But... what can we do?"

"We set up a trap." For the first time since their meeting began Raphael allowed himself a small smile. "And Castiel will be the bait."

Zachariah’s face morphed into an expression of deeply felt confusion and Raphael questioningly raised one brow. "Yes?"

"Why would Gabriel be interested in someone like _Castiel_?"

Both angels stared at each other and under Raphael's unrelenting gaze Zachariah quickly grew nervous, fearing that he had overstepped a line he shouldn’t have.

"That’s something you don’t need to know. Just follow your orders and everything will be all right." Raphael returned his attention to the scene unfolding in front of his window. "I will contact you as soon as all necessary preparations are completed."

Zachariah waited a few more seconds but when it became clear that Raphael continued to ignore him he respectfully bowed his head and left.

 

**+++**

**Chapter 3**

**+++**

 

Castiel loved to be on earth.

Over the past months God’s most cherished creation had become the place he secretly called home whenever he allowed his mind to indulge in such frivolous thoughts.

He wasn't sure when he had started to feel that way but more and more he found himself longing for the silent majesty of ancient trees, the rough beauty of the wild sea and ragged mountains and the breathtaking sight of golden rays of sun illuminating the sky. Everything was so colourful, so vibrant with life, that it nearly took his breath away. Its imperfection made earth perfect in its own way. Just like its inhabitants.

His prolonged acquaintance with the Winchesters was another aspect that made him see things differently. The months he had spent in the company of Sam and Dean Winchester had caused him to slowly change his view on humans. He learned that they were so much more than just instinctively controlled animals. They were capable of love and altruism and they enjoyed life despite their mortality.

In comparison heaven seemed… _dull_. Castiel had never thought there would be the day when heaven ceased to be the proverbial centre of his world. Heaven was beautiful, stunning even, but emotionally cold. Somewhere along the centuries God's first children had lost everything that once defined them as the loving creatures they were intended to be. The lack of compassion and warmth in them was devastating.

Previously, when Castiel had been on earth, he had never had the time to mingle with humans or even appreciate the beauty of nature. It had all changed this time he had come to earth and he secretly loved every minute of it.

Right now, however, he was far from enjoying anything at all. He was standing hidden in the shadows not far from a dark building that, at some point in the past, must have been a rather impressive manor but now was nothing more than an abandoned heap of ruined stones.

Through the broken tiles Castiel could see the splintered rafters covered with mould. His sharp eyes took in the shattered windows and the half opened door that revealed only darkness beyond. The house seemed to be abandoned, only a few lonely cobwebs were visible slowly moving in the evening breeze.

Something was wrong. Castiel was sure of it but Zachariah had told them to protect the seal hidden inside the ruin at all costs. Orders were orders and Zachariah knew what he was doing but still...

The soft rustle of wings brought him out of his reverie and Castiel listened to their current leader as he whispered his orders. "Amael you’re going in through the back. Josias will accompany you. Castiel and I will take the front door."

The sinking feeling in his vessel’s gut intensified. Castiel followed Heziel as ordered, both angels determinedly moving towards the ruin.

"You will go in first. I will follow right behind you."

Castiel grabbed his sword and stepped over the threshold. Zachariah had warned them that somewhere inside the house there was a small girl hiding from the demons that had killed her family. The girl herself was the seal they planned to save and Castiel had promised himself not to fail again. It was an important task and they needed to succeed yet still Castiel just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

He wasn’t even sure why he felt this way. Angels normally weren’t prone to fear or superstition but the whole atmosphere creeped him out. Maybe it was just his vessel being overly...

The sound of an angel taking flight made Castiel turn around in alarm but all he found was an empty space where his commander had been.

He was completely alone.

"Heziel?"

Utterly confused by the unexpected turn of events Castiel tried to figure out what to do next when suddenly the dark sinister presence of several demons caught his attention. Castiel whirled around, ready to attack but when he saw what awaited him he felt his confidence weaver. This short moment of hesitation was all the demons needed. They surrounded him, quickly and efficiently cutting off his only escape route.

The seraph knew that he couldn’t win this fight. He was seriously outnumbered and it seemed as if his own garrison had led him into a trap. Why they had left him to the mercy of their enemies he couldn’t fathom. However, in this moment it didn’t matter. There was only one thing for him to do.

Castiel raised his sword and attacked.

 

+++

 

Gabriel had tried his best to forget his mate but after dealing with two weeks of failed tricks and his increasing frustration he finally had to admit defeat.

He needed to see Castiel again.

But were the risks really worth taking? For the first time in his life the archangel felt completely lost. His grace was longing to reunite with his mate but his mind was telling him that this could easily turn into the stupidest thing he ever had done.

Distractedly Gabriel reached down and started scratching his soundly sleeping dog behind its ears. The small creature shifted beneath his touch but otherwise it didn’t wake up and Gabriel was left to his thoughts once more.

He had been too sure of himself. After all those years spent alone or in the company of the pagans suppressing his grace had been essential for Gabriel’s continued existence. Knowing all too well that should he blow his cover, depending who caught up with him first, he would either end up killed by the pagans or imprisoned by his brothers and sisters. He had lived for millennia keeping all traces of his true nature hidden and, after all this time, he had almost forgotten who he really was. The archangel Gabriel was dead and as a result the thought of not being able to fight off his angelic heritage had never even crossed his mind.

He should have known better.

Maybe he should just give in to his destiny. There was no denying it and fighting the inevitable would only prolong his suffering. The moment his grace recognized his mate he had been doomed anyway. Gabriel had never believed his Father when he told them that angels weren’t able to go against their nature by ignoring their mates. He obviously should have listened more closely to what his Father had to say. He wouldn’t have been able to avoid this mess but at least he would have been better prepared.

_But Castiel never responded._

And there was that. This small detail had occupied Gabriel’s mind for quite a while now. As soon as an angel reached the age of majority they were able to recognize their bondmate the moment they met. Castiel should have reacted immediately.

_So why hadn’t he?_

The younger angel must have felt it too. There was no way he couldn't have. But when he had chosen to not react... that only left one option. Although he never had paid much attention before the archangel knew how tainted his grace was after turning himself into a pagan deity. Gabriel swallowed hard when it became clear what must have happened.

Castiel had rejected him because he was damaged goods. A bond could only be broken when there were legitimate reasons to refuse a mating and his pagan identity had left an indelible stain on his grace that was more than enough to disqualify him as an acceptable mate.

For a moment the world seemed to slow down but then Gabriel brushed all thoughts of being rejected aside. No. Castiel had been too surprised to react properly. He was rather young after all and finding one’s bondmate could be overwhelming. All he needed was time.

_Who are you fooling? No angel in their right mind would mate with you._

Well, that remained to be seen, Gabriel decided. He would try to stay away from Castiel as long as possible but in the meantime it definitely wouldn’t hurt to keep an eye on the younger angel. To have his mate revealed to him changed everything. Before Gabriel had been willing to wait for the apocalypse to run its course but now... Now all he wanted was to keep Castiel safe. Whatever the younger angel wanted or needed, Gabriel would do his best to provide it even if he had to avoid direct contact for the sake of staying hidden.

_You should stay away and accept his decision._

Ignoring the small voice in the back of his mind the archangel closed his eyes. Not willing to accept that it might be over before it even began he carefully reached out to find his mate.

 

+++

 

Castiel was losing. He had expected as much, it was unavoidable, but he still wasn’t willing to give up. A sharp stab caught him across his chest and he stumbled back, almost falling down to his knees.

The dead bodies of the poor humans the demons had been wearing were littering the ground but there still were too many surrounding him and he knew it was only a matter of time until they managed to overpower him.

Castiel took a few steps back, quickly bringing up his sword in defence and the demon fell back, black smoke rising from its chest.

_Strike._

The fighting was nearing its end and Castiel could feel his vessel’s exhaustion seeping through.

_Blow._

There was nowhere for him to run. Leaving his vessel was out of question. Abandoning James Novak meant to expose him to the cruel mercy of the demons and a man this faithful didn’t deserve such torture.

_Another strike, stumbling back._

"Give up, little angel." The demons were closing in on him now and for a moment Castiel felt the urge to obey, to lay down his sword and let them rip him apart but then he straightened himself and shook his head defiantly.

"You can’t win."

The demons got closer. All of them were smirking now, sure of the victory they undoubtedly held in their hands. Castiel's back collided with the wall and he knew the demons' last attack had come.

"Give up."

Castiel was determined to go down fighting. It was the least he could do to spare James the torture of being the toy of those vindictive creatures.

"It’s futile."

The voices of the demons were all around him and the angel took a deep breath to calm himself. His gaze found the leader of the demons and their eyes locked. He saw the exact moment the demon readied itself to render the killing blow, bracing himself for the attack.

All of a sudden the world turned golden.

A soft whispering breeze filled the air and Castiel recognized the wonderful feeling he remembered from his previous encounter with the mysterious angel. Basking in the warm soft glow of his fellow angel’s grace Castiel dropped his sword. There was no need for him to fight any more, not with this incredible whirlwind of grace and vicious power attacking the demons and killing them almost effortlessly.

Castiel looked on, speechless. He had never seen another angel taking care of demons this quickly. When it was over all that remained were several piles of ashes and an angel he thought he would never see again.

"Gabriel?!"

"Hey, kiddo." The archangel tucked away his sword and smiled sadly. His face was edged with worry and Castiel silently wondered what had happened. He felt confused and completely out of his depth. "Are you all right?"

Castiel stared into the worried golden eyes of his long lost brother. There was this feeling again, this wonderful soothing warmth that set his body and grace afire, leaving him wanting, craving for more.

Slowly he raised his hand, reaching out.

"Arrest him!"

Blinded momentarily by a flash of white hot grace Castiel blinked away the dark spots dancing in front of his eyes and for a long moment he thought he had to be hallucinating.

Gabriel was on the ground, his vessel weighed down by a net of tightly woven enochian binding spells that kept him immobile in a rather uncomfortable position. Three pairs of golden wings were desperately struggling against their confinement but it was obvious that there was no escape for the archangel.

The angels that had led him into the trap were standing around their captive with grim expressions on their faces.

Castiel was confused. His mind was still reeling but the sight of those angels, those _traitors_ , again quickly turned his confusion into anger. He took a step forward, intending to confront Heziel about what had happened.

Lighting illuminated the sky right before another presence entered the scene and Castiel involuntarily cringed away from the blatant display of power crackling through the ether.

Raphael appeared right next to Heziel, a hand resting on the lesser angel’s shoulder. He squeezed it lightly before he stepped forward and stopped next to his still struggling brother, an arrogant smile gracing his lips. With slow, deliberate movements the healer went down on one knee and grabbed a fistful of Gabriel’s hair, dragging his head back with brutal force.

"Hello little brother."

Snarling the youngest archangel tried to break free but it was futile. The net was one of the most feared weapons in heaven and every angel knew that there was no escape. It certainly didn’t stop Gabriel from trying.

Raphael smiled coldly and released the grip he had on his brother's hair. He straightened himself and turned around, fixing Castiel with a calculating look in his eyes.

"Thank you, Castiel. You played your role formidably."

Silence fell over the small group. It was almost deafening after the sounds of fighting. At first Castiel didn’t even notice the change but after a moment he finally realised that Gabriel had stopped struggling and was staring at him, amber coloured eyes full of hurt and... betrayal?

"Take him away."

Without looking back towards his brother Raphael vanished. The other angels followed him, their captive now eerily compliant and docile as he followed their orders.

When he finally was alone again Castiel just stood there in silence, staring into the night sky. His anger had faded but in its place the confusion had returned full force. The events of the day made absolutely no sense at all.

Why? This was the only question prominent in his mind right now. Castiel understood that Raphael must have learned about the mysterious angel he had encountered because Zachariah told him about it. He could even understand why Raphael felt the need to set up a trap. What he couldn’t understand at all was how the healer had known that Gabriel was still alive. And he _had_ known because there was no surprise in the archangel’s voice when he had seen his younger brother.

But even more important than that was the question why he would use Castiel as a bait to capture Gabriel? Not to mention the fact why Gabriel would even care what happened to an unimportant little seraph like Castiel?

He had been played like a fool and Castiel didn’t like this experience in the slightest. There was something important going on and his superiors had simply moved him around like a pawn. It was irritating and made him uneasy.

The seraph suddenly realised that his chest was hurting and with a frown he tried to figure out what was wrong but his vessel seemed to be absolutely healthy.

Maybe he should visit Raphael and get himself checked for possible injuries. And when he got the chance to find out what was going on so much the better.

 

**+++**

**Chapter 4**

**+++**

 

Some things _really_ never changed.

Heaven's prison was particularly depressing in its continuance. Everything was white. White walls, white floor completed with a white ceiling in a too bright cell that was far too small for the archangel.

Ever since the moment Raphael closed the door of his cell in his face the younger archangel almost instantly had felt suffocated. He never had done well with the prospect of being confined for an unknown amount of time. All of his brothers knew how much he despised it when he wasn't able to move freely.

How very fitting for Raphael to choose this particular punishment to show him how serious Heaven intended to handle the whole incident.

Gabriel fractionally moved the wings he kept folded against his back with meticulous precision, careful to avoid the rather painful contact with the brimming energy surrounding his prison. He really shouldn’t have underestimated his brother’s thirst for revenge. There were numerous things in heaven that could be used for punishment but this cell in particular was a terrifying instrument used to keep even the most defiant angels in line.

There was barely enough space for the average angel to fit themselves into the rather constricted room but for an archangel it was pure torture. Six wings needed a lot more space than just two and to keep them away from the barrier soon became more than exhausting. Gabriel could already feel his muscles tensing up.

And here he had thought that those cells were long gone, forbidden because of their needless cruelty.

A shiver ran down the middle wing on his left side and Gabriel quickly held his breath in terrified anticipation but to his relief the soft tremors subsided without actually turning into cramps. A short-lived reprieve but at least for now he was, more or less, safe. But of course it only was a matter of time until he wouldn't be able to prevent his wings from cramping and then, inevitably, the pain would come. Gabriel wondered if he would be strong enough not to beg for mercy but he wasn't overly sure. He only could hope that he would be able to deny his brothers that particular spectacle.

Who the hell was he fooling?

Even if Gabriel managed to prevent himself from breaking down his older brother would make sure that sooner or later the messenger was brought to his knees. Raphael _loved_ to torture him. He relished it. He always had; ever since their creation when Raphael had discovered that Father's gift of healing also meant that he knew all too well how to hurt someone. It was a special ability he had brought to perfection ever since this fateful moment he was ordered to torture a captured demon for information.

Since that time Raphael had acquired a rather disturbing taste for blood.

Gabriel knew that Raphael would love to make him pay and only the fact that it was Michael's prerogative to assess his final punishment would keep the healer him from outright killing him. But of course leaving Raphael's clutches meant facing Michael… The archangel shook his head, determined to clear it of such thoughts. He just needed to keep his mind occupied with far more pleasurable things…

…like his mate.

Instantly the messenger felt even worse. He couldn’t believe how incredibly stupid he had been. Why had he felt the need to reveal himself to a mate that so obviously didn’t want him? Overwhelmed by the sheer hopelessness of his situation Gabriel lowered his head, slowly feeling exhaustion taking over. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure what happened. All he knew was that he had acted like a fool.

_Now, who was the gullible one?_

How could he have been so blind? Of course there was no happy ending for someone as stained and defective as him. Why would Castiel even _think_ about mating with someone like him? A healthy instinct of self preservation was vital for his continued survival in heaven after all. There was really no need to reproach Castiel just because he chose his own safety over a mate he had seen only one or two times in his existence and had barely ever spoken to.

But still... to be discarded this easily hurt like hell.

Footsteps approached his cell and the archangel tilted his head, intently listening. Just like he had predicted they stopped right in front of his door.

_"…we need to take..."_

_"...precautions..."_

They most probably were planning their next steps regarding the punishment awaiting him for his treason. Gabriel suddenly felt like vomiting. He was absolutely helpless. Whatever his brother had planned for him – there was nothing he could do to prevent it. The only thing he still had was his pride.

The archangel quickly straightened himself, silently promising himself not to give in to his fear.

Eyes fixed on the door in front of him Gabriel waited but the angel appearing on the threshold was not the one he had expected.

"Look how the mighty have fallen." Zachariah walked forward, a nasty smile gracing his lips. "We all thought you were dead, messenger."

Lips pressed together in a desperate attempt to swallow the vicious reply burning on the tip of his tongue Gabriel just continued to stare blankly at the wall behind Zachariah’s head. Ignoring him was the only thing he could do to diminish Zachariah’s victory.

"Raphael wanted to make sure that you know your place. Unfortunately Michael insisted on seeing you first. But that doesn’t mean I can’t take the necessary precautions."

Still smiling Zachariah produced a small golden collar and this finally got a reaction out of Gabriel. The archangel turned as white as sheet, small vessel trembling with barely hidden disgust.

"Keep him in place." Zachariah moved aside to let the guards enter. Seconds later there were foreign hands on Gabriel’s wings and arms, forcing him down on his knees. Cruel fingers twisted into his hair, bending his head forward in a painful angle and the collar snapped shut, abruptly cutting off the connection to his grace.

Immediately his perception dimmed down, his now mortal senses dull and muddy in comparison to what he was used to. Gabriel stumbled, only the hands on his arms preventing him from crashing face first into the floor. When he was dragged back to his feet the archangel didn’t resist, the collar already affecting his ability to move.

He was led down the hallway and Gabriel shuffled on, trying to focus on the trial he awaited but all he could think of was the gleeful expression on Zachariah’s face.

 

+++

 

"You wanted to talk to me."

Castiel bowed his head in respect to Raphael’s superior status before he answered. "Yes. Thank you for seeing me."

Finally, Castiel added silently. The past days had been rather exhausting for him. Turning the events of his adventure on earth over and over in his head Castiel had decided to act like any other angel would: He asked his superior why he hadn’t been informed about the trap and when Zachariah just shrugged it off Castiel accepted the lack of explanation as something a lower angel needn’t to know and retreated.

Several more days were spent with analysing his possibilities. There were two paths for him to chose from. He either could live on like nothing ever had happened at all – or he could take the bull by the horns as the older Winchester would have called it.

_You're blindly following orders regardless of what's wrong or right_ , Dean had told him not long ago and those words had hurt him more than he ever would admit. Angels were created to follow God’s orders but were those curious and sometimes downright senseless orders they had been given recently really the words of their Father? Why would he send them out to save a seal just to realise that the demons had fooled them by choosing a completely different seal to the one God had predicted?

God never was wrong so there must be a reason for him to lead his angels astray and Castiel wanted to find out what this reason was. There was only one angel able to provide him with adequate answers and so Castiel had petitioned for an audience with Raphael. He had been repeatedly refused – until now.

"I’m in need of your help."

"Is that so?" Raphael just raised one eyebrow in thinly veiled amusement. The healer in front of him gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. "So tell me, what ails you."

"It’s complicated." Castiel stated slowly, not entirely sure how to proceed. Heaven’s healer was not someone to be trifled with. He had to tread carefully. "Several weeks ago I told Zachariah about a strange encounter I had with an unknown angel."

"I am aware." It was plain to see that the older angel clearly wasn’t interested in what Castiel had to say but the seraph was too stubborn to give up now.

"The following events..."

Raphael quickly held up his hand, interrupting the other angel in mid-sentence. "You want me to ask about the little... ploy I made use of."

The healer leaned back in his chair, folding his hands over his stomach. It was a calculated gesture to show how relaxed and at ease he was with Castiel’s questioning but for the first time in his life the seraph wasn’t fooled by it. There was something cold and hard in Raphael's eyes that promised severe punishment should Castiel refuse to let himself to be lured into the web of lies the healer was about to spin.

Several months in the company of the Winchesters really had worked wonders in disillusioning him.

"Gabriel is my brother and I love him but, as painful as this is to admit, he’s also a traitor. We have been looking for him ever since he left us but never were able to find out what had happened to him. So when you came and told Zachariah about your encounter with this mysterious angel we couldn’t believe our luck."

"Are you telling me that you always knew that Gabriel was alive while all of heaven believed him dead?" Castiel asked incredulously.

"I apologize for lying but it was necessary. We couldn’t risk for the other angels to start questioning their purpose like Gabriel had done. It was too soon after Lucifer’s fall and we already had lost so many others following the Morningstar into rebellion. We just couldn’t effort to risk heaven’s stability again."

That at least was partially true. The remaining archangels would never have risked another rebellion by revealing that one of them was just as fed up with the situation as Lucifer had been. It also made sense that they would have covered up Gabriel’s flight – had they known about it. And that was something Castiel just couldn’t believe. They _all_ thought Gabriel dead and the archangels had been no exception. So why did Raphael lie?

_Because there are things he wants to hide from you._

"I know you’re most probably disappointed in your superiors but we needed to make sure to keep this information as secret as possible."

"Zachariah was informed about Gabriel then?"

"Yes."

No. Definitely no. He could see it in the healer's eyes. Castiel smiled innocently and tilted his head to one side. "How fortunate that I went to Zachariah with my concerns. It’s too dreadful to think about what could have happened had I talked to someone not in the know."

Raphael narrowed his eyes at him but Castiel answered his gaze solemnly, carefully keeping even the slightest hint of his true feelings from reflecting on his face.

"That would have been... unpleasant", the healer finally conceded reluctantly.

Castiel nodded and decided to take his quest a step further. "I understand that you recognized the signature of Gabriel’s grace when I described him to Zachariah but what made you believe that he would come to my aid should I end up in danger?"

A dark look crossed Raphael’s face and for a moment Castiel feared that he had carried this stupid little farce too far but then the mask slipped back into place and Raphael smiled indulgently.

"You are so very young, Castiel, that I sometimes forget that there are things you don’t know about. The reason Gabriel came to your aid because you are his mate."

_What?_ Castiel sat there, nonplussed. Of all the things Raphael could have said, this certainly wasn’t one he ever had predicated. He opened his mouth but no sound escaped his lips.

"You were rather young when Gabriel decided to leave us and neither Michael nor I thought about severing the connection between you and your mate. I’m not sure why Gabriel was there when you sensed his presence for the first time but it must have been then when he realised who you are – and how important you are to him."

Raphael got up and rounded his desk to place his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. "I’m sorry you had to learn about it this way. And I’m sorry that we used you as a bait but I hope you can see how important it was to make sure that Gabriel gets his well-deserved punishment for betraying the host."

"Yes." Castiel still felt lost. He had a mate although he had always thought himself to be completely alone. And his mate was an archangel. God’s messenger. It was too much for him to process right now.

_At least he now knew why his grace reacted this strongly every time Gabriel was near. And he had even believed himself to be sick..._

"There is one thing, though. I’m sure you know what it means to be the mate of a traitor."

Suddenly reality caught up with him and Castiel and nodded mutely. By being the mate of a traitor he automatically was seen as a traitor, too. His place in heaven, his future – everything was forfeit. Everything he had worked for so far...

"I understand", he whispered.

"Please let me assure you that we don’t hold the fact that your mate is a traitor against you. Had you two been properly mated it would have been different but in this situation we can make an exception."

Raphael seemed to sense his inner turmoil and after squeezing his shoulder again he gently helped Castiel to his feet, directing him towards the door. "Take a few days to get used to the fact that you are the preordained mate of a traitor and think well about what you want to do now."

The door closed behind him and Castiel slowly returned to his room. He knew that his options were limited. He could honour tradition and follow his mate into death or he could sever the ties that bound them by officially siding with the host in that matter.

His whole life had been turned upside down within a few short minutes. His mind was reeling, leaving him completely at a loss. He still didn’t know what to do when, several hours later, once more he was ordered to keep an eye on the Winchesters.

 

+++

 

Michael was still sitting in his chair on the right side of his Father's abandoned throne even though God had been gone for quite a while now.

Gabriel wondered silently why he hadn't already taken over the throne but at the same time it was more than obvious. Michael would never usurp his father's place, at least not officially. He would stay the doting, responsible eldest son taking care of God's legacy with everything he had.

Even if it meant feeding lies to the host and starting the apocalypse before its schedule.

"Leave us."

The guards hesitated for a moment before they took a step back and retreated to the other side of the throne-room. They wouldn’t leave the room completely but they retreated far enough to grant them a little bit of privacy.

"Gabriel."

The younger archangel flinched involuntarily when he heard the anger in his brother's voice. The older archangel left his seat and slowly descended the steps of the dais.

"Pagan God."

Michael had reached the floor and moved forward with purposeful determination.

"Traitor."

Michael's hand closed around Gabriel’s neck, his grip bruising the now soft vulnerable flesh of his brother's vessel.

"You deserve to die for what you have done."

Gabriel choked but made no attempt at defending himself. It was futile to try and ward off heaven’s general. Michael was the oldest angel and his power was unrivalled. Even if Gabriel still had access to his grace he wouldn’t have been able to win a fight against Michael.

Their eyes locked and in this instant the youngest archangel realised that this time he wouldn't be able to worm his way out of this one.

"There is no longer a place in heaven for you but I am willing to grant you a merciful death."

"Really?" Gabriel answered defiantly despite the fear turning his stomach into knots. "And what do you want in return for this _mercy_?"

The oldest archangel smiled in cold amusement. "You always were the clever one, brother. Of course there is a price for my obligation."

Michael slowly released the grip he had on Gabriel’s neck and the other angel had to keep his fingers from massaging the abused flesh.

"It’s quite simple. You will return your horn to me. We will need it rather soon."

Gabriel lowered his gaze, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

Of course. What else would they be interested in? The horn was the only thing they had never got their hands on. Only Gabriel knew where it was and he never had told anyone. When he left heaven Gabriel had promised himself to hide the horn away until their Father returned. Without God there was no-one who was allowed to announce the end of days, regardless of what Michael and the others thought.

"I won’t defy our Father’s orders. The horn is not something for you to play around with."

"Is that so?" Michael returned to his chair and sat down quietly. His fingers were tapping a silent rhythm on the armrest beneath his left arm and this small gesture told Gabriel more clearly than anything else how bad his situation really was.

"Father is gone and it is my decision when I want to bring paradise to earth."

"No-one except Father is allowed to make this decision. Are you really willing to risk his anger when he returns and finds is most prized creation destroyed because you were too impatient to wait for his return?"

"Enough!"

The booming voice of his brother echoed through the room and Gabriel knew he had hit a nerve. His satisfaction was short-lived because his brother immediately was back at his side and, without warning, backhanded him hard across the face.

Gabriel stumbled to the ground, one hand pressed against his cheek. When he looked up his vision was swimming.

"Just kill me and get over it. I will never tell you where you can find the horn." He rasped, head still ringing from the blow. Michael narrowed his eyes and smiled cruelly.

"Kill you? Certainly not. I still need you, after all."

"I will never give in to your demands."

"Oh, but you will." Michael sounded so sure of the fact that Gabriel felt the first stirrings of panic in his chest. He buried his hand in Gabriel’s hair, forcing him to look up. "Have you ever looked at yourself in the past millenniums? You are disgusting. Your grace reeks with the pagan filth you've stained yourself with. Your very presence is a disgrace in front our Father’s throne."

The oldest archangel leaned forward, the smile on his lips a twisted parody of brotherly concern.

"There is only one thing for me to do. You will thank me for it, Gabriel. It’s only for the best." With a deliberate movement he placed his other hand on Gabriel’s forehead and focussed his grace. "I can’t allow you to remain in heaven with this hideous creature lurking beneath your skin."

"Michael... no!"

Ignoring Gabriel’s feeble attempts at escaping Michael let his grace flow through his brothers body. The golden glow surrounded him completely, white burning fire raging through his every nerve and fibre, searching for something deep within him and then it found its target.

Gabriel never realised that he had started screaming, even when his brother’s grace burned the trickster right out of his very being.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**+++**

**Chapter 5**

**+++**

 

Raphael was sitting in his office, his face turned towards the window where his older brother stood watching the clouds passing by. They had been here for quite a while now but still they hadn’t made any progress.

"I have visited him today. He’s still unconscious from the little stunt you pulled in the throne-room but I made sure that he will wake up into the cold nothingness of the cage."

Michael turned around and glared at his little brother. "Father forbade us to..."

"Father isn’t here." Raphael retorted sharply. Both brothers tried to stare each other down and to the healer's astonishment it was Michael who lowered his gaze first. "We need the horn or we won’t be able to make the apocalypse official. I will do _everything_ to ensure that Gabriel is convinced to help."

The older angel snorted and returned his attention back to the clouds. It was a habit Raphael too was prone to whenever he had enough time and in his free time he often stood in front of the same window that Michael now was blocking. The small fact angered Raphael without reason, his mood darkening even further. He knew that he was overreacting but he just couldn’t help himself.

"Fine. But make sure that no-one will be able to trace the spell back to you."

"Don't worry. I already have taken precautions to pin the blame on someone else should the need arise." The smile on Raphael's face sent a shiver of unpleasant foreboding down Michael's back. His little brother's ruthlessness was nothing new but it always caused him almost physical pain. "Poor little Zachariah is the perfect scapegoat. I'm sure no-one will even wonder if Zachariah's really the one at fault. He's very unfortunate to be so unpopular."

"I hope you're right. Even I won’t be able to spare you from execution should the host find out that you placed this particular spell on Gabriel."

"Do you really think I won’t drag you down with me should our little ruse blow up in our faces?"

Michael refused to react to Raphael's obvious baiting. Instead he returned to their problem at hand. "I hear that Castiel still hasn’t decided to separate himself from his mate."

"He's had more than enough time to decide, but I don’t think he’s willing to forfeit his connection with Gabriel." The healer sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I always thought Castiel to be rather promising but his recent behaviour really makes me wonder if we shouldn't use Gabriel's misconducts to get rid of them both."

"Maybe you should have handled the whole affair differently. Then we could have used Castiel as a pressurising medium against Gabriel."

Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Are you blaming me for Gabriel's stubbornness?"

Michael pressed his lips together in a rather poor attempt to hide his anger but shook his head. He was far too tired to fight with the younger angel. All he wanted was to make sure that his plans regarding the apocalypse weren't endangered but so far all he had managed was to entangle himself further in Raphael's scheming. It was a dangerous game they both were playing and the fact that he couldn't be sure about his younger brother's motives didn't bode well for their shared future.

"You really should leave all the sordid little details to me, brother. Return to your post and don't worry yourself. I will take care of everything."

Although he knew that it most probably was a bad idea Michael accepted Raphael's advice, deciding to pretend that he had every right to wash his hands of responsibility.

 

+++

 

The golden light of the setting sun danced across the green leaves in front of him and with a soft sigh Castiel leaned back against the tree behind him. He so seldom found the time to retreat into heaven's garden that he almost had forgotten how beautiful it could be. The soothing silence of the place was the desperately needed balm for his frayed nerves.

Castiel closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his upturned face. Responding to his wishes the garden kept the sun in exactly the same position in the clear blue sky, allowing the seraph to keep up the pretence of being on earth.

Ever since he had learned about his connection to Gabriel the younger angel was completely at a loss. His mate was a traitor awaiting execution and the only thing standing between him and his own annihilation was his chance of cutting all the ties binding him to the messenger.

On the face of it there was only one logical decision to make – abandon Gabriel and stay alive. For a while. An angel without a mate was never complete, never whole. They always were missing an important part of themselves and they more often than not succumbed to suicide by simply fading away into nothingness.

And that was another aspect of human's superiority. For them there was always the chance to find another love but for angel's it just didn't work that way. All of them had one mate. God had intended for them to have the perfect partner to spent eternity with.

It was a hard decision to make.

"You seem troubled, little one."

Castiel opened his eyes and quickly scrambled to his feet. "Joshua."

"Hello Castiel. You haven’t been here for a long time."

"The apocalypse is nearing and we are trying to stop the seals from breaking." The obvious guilt Castiel was feeling for being caught while idling away his time was almost painful to witness.

Joshua crossed the distance between them and placed a hand on Castiel’s arm. "The garden is a sanctuary for every angel to meditate on the things they worry about. It’s your right to be here until you find your way again."

"No. It’s... fine. I’m fine." The seraph pushed back one strand of unruly black hair and tried to pretend that everything was alright. "I’m sorry. I thought I was alone. I will leave you to put the garden back into its original form."

"Please, stay. It never was my intention to scare you." The older angel smiled and gestured for him to calm down. Before Castiel had a chance to react Joshua concentrated his attention on the tree behind the younger angel. "This is an oak tree, am I right?"

"I...I don’t know." Castiel finally admitted and Joshua couldn’t help but laugh. "I enjoy watching them, and sitting in their shadow, but I never bothered to learn their names." He sounded forlorn and helpless and Joshua suspected that Castiel’s thoughts had returned to the problem he had been thinking about before he had been interrupted.

"It’s proud. And strong. You can trust it to keep you safe." Joshua walked over to the tree and touched the bark with his fingertips. "And it's very good at listening."

With that the guardian turned around and walked away. After three steps he stopped and leaned down, picking something up from the ground that definitely hadn’t been there mere seconds ago. Curiously he held the small white flower into the light.

"I guess that one’s yours."

Castiel automatically took the lily Joshua placed in his hands, eyes wide with wonder and renewed faith. Finally he knew exactly what he had to do.

 

+++

 

Gabriel had lost all sense of time long ago. After his ordeal with Michael it had taken him what seemed to be eternity to wake up again. He was lying in darkness, impenetrable and frightening, irritated by the terrifying feeling of _loss_. There was something missing, a substantial part of him was simply _gone_. Already at the verge of panic the archangel reached inside his mind and encountered... nothing.

His memory returned with vengeance and the archangel choked on the sudden tears burning in his eyes. How could Michael do that to him? How could he _cripple_ him like that?

Screaming in anger and pain, Gabriel exhausted himself until his voice was too raw to even whisper any more. Yet still he raged on.

He didn't even notice when his brother came to visit him until it was too late and a hand touched his forehead.

After that was only pain.

_How much is your life worth, when no-one cares whether you live or die?_

When he regained consciousness Gabriel was still surrounded by darkness but at least the pain in his chest had been reduced to a soft aching. His mind was clearer now and he found himself able to work up enough energy to think about escaping.

If only he could see something. Maybe he would be able to find a way out of this terrible place.

Desperately Gabriel turned his head but all he achieved was a sudden pain in his neck when the collar he still was wearing bit sharply into his skin. The pain brought back memories of before and the archangel quickly stilled every movement in terrified anticipation.

He never had believed himself to be this easy to break but obviously he had been wrong. The darkness slowly found its way into his soul, tearing away the last bits of hope and confidence, leaving nothing behind but all-consuming desolation.

_How many hours has a night that knows no end?_

The memory of Castiel came without warning. Gabriel was shivering in the coldness of his prison when blue eyes started to haunt his dreams.

Castiel had always been so happy and carefree, full of dreams and hopes and now... now he was just as cold and calculating as the rest of them, cruelly using every little advantage to stay in Raphael’s good graces.

He should have known better. For the first time in his life Gabriel had allowed himself to hope... and look what it got him.

_"Thank you, Castiel. You played your role formidably."_

The youngest archangel felt the last bits of his sanity slipping away.

_"You are a disgrace."_

No.

_"Filth."_

Please...

And the pain continued.

 

**+++**

**Chapter 6**

**+++**

 

"At least he has stopped screaming."

Michael was staring at the shivering body in front of him, an unreadable expression on his face. His younger brother was lying on the floor, his body a shivering mess half hidden beneath the golden feathers of his wings.

For a moment heaven’s general contemplated why he still was able to see Gabriel's wings even if his grace was bound but then he decided that it had absolutely no relevance to his cause and quickly pushed the thought aside.

"He is stuck in the form he was captured in", Raphael answered his unspoken thoughts and Michael nodded absent-mindedly. Sometimes it was astonishingly helpful to have a brother that knew him so well that he was able to read him like a book.

The messenger emitted an almost inaudible whimper and Michael found himself critically accessing the damage.

"Do you really think five days are enough?"

Although his eyes were telling him that Gabriel was more dead than alive, Michael still couldn’t believe that the other one had been broken so quickly.

The smile Raphael sent his way was truly terrifying. "Do you take me for a fool? Of course I took the time to alter the spell beforehand. Five days for us means at least fifty years for him. Let him wake up. I’m sure the pain has made him reasonable enough to listen. He now knows what to expect should he still refuse to cooperate."

"I see." Michael thoughtfully gnawed on his bottom lip. "But what if his mind is too wrecked to remember where he hid the horn?"

"Then I can only hope that his consciousness is broken beyond repair or otherwise I won’t be able to pluck his mind apart to find the information we need."

Michael glared at his younger brother. "Don't test my patience, Raphael! With your idle playing around you’re wasting time we definitely don’t have."

"Good torture is like good wine, Michael. It can’t be rushed. Besides... where would have been the fun in that?" Raphael asked innocently.

The older angel brusquely turned around and walked away.

 

+++

 

Castiel never had been one to make rash decisions. Thoughtful and withdrawn by nature he preferred to think everything through and plan the way he handled things with meticulous precision.

His inborn carefulness was the reason he was now stood in front of Bobby Singer’s salvage yard, weighing up his options.

After his conversation with Joshua, Castiel had retreated to his room and, with the small flower still cradled in his hand, the seraph had tried to figure out what to do next. He'd quickly reached the decision that he would need help should he be able to save Gabriel from their older brothers. He would need someone who knew exactly how to cover up their tracks, how to seemingly vanish from the face of earth. The simplest solution of course was to let Gabriel take care of everything – the messenger had tricked his brothers for millennia but Castiel just couldn’t risk to place all his hopes in his mate. Raphael’s methods of torture tended to be more than thorough and there was no way to estimate the damage he had done to the younger archangel. Realistically Castiel had to assume that Gabriel was nothing more than an empty shell by now.

Castiel had to try everything in his power to save Gabriel though. He owed him that much. Especially after the terrible role he had played in his mate's downfall. That he had been nothing more than a clueless pawn, unintentionally playing into the hands of his superiors, didn’t matter at all.

He would fix this even though it most probably would cost his life.

Sitting in the small room he called his own he looked at the beautiful little flower in his hands. Then he gently placed it on the windowsill and took flight.

There was no one in heaven he could ask for support but he hoped that the things he had done for his charge were enough to convince Dean to help him.

Determined, he entered Bobby's house.

 

+++

 

"Very good. Put it over there."

Gabriel heard the words but somehow he could not quite grasp their meaning. Thinking was unusually hard. His mind felt sluggish and as if it were wrapped in cotton wool, while his body was burning with pain.

What was wrong with him? Slowly he opened his eyes but the light of the sun pierced his brain like red-hot needles and, with an inaudible groan, he gave up and quickly pressed his eyes shut again.

"Here." Something was moved aside and then the same voice as before said. "I’m going to place a glass of water at your lips. Don’t be alarmed."

True to the words an arm wormed its way beneath his neck, propping up his head. A glass was pressed against his mouth and Gabriel swallowed in desperate need. The cool liquid ran down his throat and the messenger almost groaned in deeply-felt bliss.

At least he was no longer alone in the dark. Whether this was an improvement or not remained to be seen but at least there was a little hope for him now.

"You need to rest." He was gently pushed back into the cushions.

"What h…happened…?" Was that really his voice? Had he always sounded this painfully raspy?

"You have been sick for quite a while. Sleep now."

Sick? Gabriel wasn't entirely sure what had happened to him but he definitely had not been sick.

Deep down inside the first stirrings of unpleasant memories made him frown.

"Sleep."

The command was well-hidden beneath a velvety surface of feigned worry and sympathy but Gabriel heard it nonetheless.

"No. I wasn’t sick. I remember now I..."

"That's too bad." The voice dropped every pretence and suddenly Gabriel knew he had made a big mistake. Panic gripped his heart but it was too late. Desperate to see the face of the angel seizing his shoulders in a relentless grip Gabriel fought to open his eyes but whoever it was moved too quickly for him to manage this task in time. Without warning he was flung around and a hand on the back of his head mercilessly pressed his face into the cushions.

"Where is the horn?"

Cursing the weakness of his nearly human body, Gabriel started to struggle but the other angel kept him in effortlessly in place.

"The horn, Gabriel. Where is it?"

The archangel couldn’t breathe. The soft material of the cushion moulded itself over the contours of his face, clinging to his mouth and nostrils and blocking even the slightest bit of air from reaching his lungs.

"Tell me, Gabriel."

There was a tightness in his chest and throat, scratching, swirling, tearing its way upwards and Gabriel desperately clawed at the hand holding him down but the position he was in offered him absolutely no leverage.

"Where. Did. You. Hide. It?"

Every word was punctuated with a brutal shove against his head, accompanied by a cruel, hard laugh.

The pounding of his heart grew louder and louder in his ears and the dizzy feeling slowly spreading through his head intensified.

"I think that’s enough for now, Heziel."

_Raphael._

Almost immediately the pressure holding him down vanished and Gabriel quickly turned his head to the side, desperately gasping for air.

"And?"

"I’m sorry, he won’t say anything."

Raphael sighed in mock surprise and approached the bed. "Why do you have to make everything so difficult?"

Strong yet gentle fingers were threading through Gabriel’s hair and the messenger barely refrained from flinching. "Won’t you tell me where you placed the horn? We need it, Gabriel."

Still slightly out of breath Gabriel looked up, his golden eyes regarding Raphael with a defiant look.

"I see." Raphael stroked back a strand of amber coloured hair, caressing Gabriel’s face with a loving gesture. "I really tried to make it easy for you but you always have been too stubborn for your own good. I’m so sorry, little brother, but I have no choice. Whatever happens now... You brought it all on yourself."

Heaven’s healer stepped back, quickly moving out of sight.

Gabriel’s whole body tensed in dreadful anticipation but nothing could have prepared him for what his torturers had planned next.

"Look at you." Heziel audibly licked his lips. "Such a beautiful colour."

Suddenly there were foreign hands on his wings, forcefully spreading them apart. The archangel froze in terror. They wouldn’t...

"Let’s find out if they are as soft as they look, shall we?"

The patronizing tone nearly made him gag but there was absolutely nothing he could do to prevent that his wings were firmly held in place. Gabriel felt like crying. The wings of an angel were sacred – grooming was a cherished part of the mating ritual, a mutual sign of love and trust. To touch an angel’s wings without consent was... no. As long as he didn’t think about it, he could pretend that it never happened.

Gabriel shuddered, desperately swallowing the bile gathering in his throat.

_Hands holding him down...touching, taking, owning..._

Tremors were running through his body every time his feathers were caressed in the most intimate ways and Gabriel realised that at one point he must have started crying for real.

They were taking what should have been his mate’s prerogative.

_Doesn’t matter... no-one wants damaged goods anyway..._

"Your feathers feel like silk." Heziel clicked his tongue when Gabriel hid his face. "There’s no need to act shy now, Gabriel. Don’t tell me you never let those pagans have a little bit fun with you."

Face burning with shame, Gabriel started shaking.

One of the angels took hold of one of his flight feathers, playfully tugging at it. An unwanted outburst of pleasure flashed through his body and Gabriel nearly choked in desperation.

_No...no...no...no..._

"He likes it." Laughter echoed in his ears and Gabriel wished nothing more than to die right then and there.

Finally the hands stopped their movements and the messenger could only assume that someone had indicated them to stop.

"Are you willing to cooperate now?" Raphael’s voice whispered into his ear and with a terrified sob Gabriel realised that his elder brother had also taken part in his humiliation.

It was a nightmare come true.

"Gabriel?"

The messenger refused to react although his whole mind felt numb with terror.

"Continue."

_He had been wrong. It_ did _matter after all._

 

**+++**

**Chapter 7**

**+++**

 

The latest mission had been surprisingly successful and their garrison was granted some free time as a boon.

It was the perfect moment to put the next part of his plan into action.

Castiel entered his room and quickly closed the door behind him. Without wasting any more time the seraph shrugged off the cream coloured clothes he was wearing and changed into the dark robes of a guardian. Pulling the hood over his head the young angel left his quarters and made his way over to the small building where heaven’s prison cells were located.

There were so many things he needed to remember that Castiel felt slightly panicked. He was terrified that he would forget something essential and so, in his mind, the young angel repeated the instructions the Winchesters and their friend Singer had given him. Absent-mindedly he touched his sword, hidden carefully in one of his pockets, and although he wanted nothing more than to hurry he kept his pace, careful not to draw any unwanted attention.

His conversation with the Winchesters had turned out to be far more difficult than he originally thought but after a long explanation they both had agreed to help. Although the older Winchester couldn't resist laughing about the prospect of Castiel soon being a 'married' man, the angel gladly put up with his teasing in exchange for his support.

Castiel now had very thorough knowledge of how to go about covering one's tracks. Of course, it most probably wouldn't withstand the concentrated efforts of his brothers to find him but he hoped that the human equivalent of burning his bridges behind him would at least buy him a little bit time.

_Blend in with the masses._

Normally the angel wasn't overly fond of human cities. They were too full and loud for his liking but Dean had told him that most of the time it was far more effective to hide in plain sight than in some far off corner of the world where his grace would stand out like a beacon.

_Mask yourself as a human and use them as a shield._

He could do that. It wasn't that easy to dampen his grace until he seemed barely more than human but it was doable.

_Don’t be too optimistic. There always will be obstacles unexpectedly thrown in your way._

Castiel slowly walked down the hallway, his eyes cast downward. So far his idea to conceal his true self as one of the lowest angels in heaven had proved to be very effective. Everyone he passed by deliberately ignored him. Guardians were of absolutely no importance to the higher ranks because they contributed nothing valuable to community. Taking care of prisoners wasn’t held in great esteem by the other angels.

The doors opened in front of him and Castiel left the main building where the private rooms of most of the angels where located. The only exception were the archangels who resided in a secluded part of heaven. He followed the street leading to the prison, his nervousness growing with every step.

_What if he was too late?_

The thought came without warning and Castiel immediately forbid himself to dwell on what possibly could go wrong. There was no time for that now. He needed to act before the others realised that something was amiss. Raphael eagerly awaited him to renounce his mate and, if he didn’t show up soon, the healer surely would suspect something. Castiel couldn’t risk for Raphael starting to look for him. Besides, he had no intention of talking to Raphael ever again if he could help it.

When he finally reached the entrance to the prison his step faltered. He had absolutely no clue where to find Gabriel.

_Stupid._

His gaze fell on a board at the left side of the entrance and before he could draw any more attention by continuing to block the doors Castiel moved over. His mood instantly lightened. How could he have forgotten that all the planned trials and executions were listed on this board to keep the public informed?

The seraph interestedly studied the bulletins in hope of finding a reference to Gabriel and what the host planned to do with him but there was nothing which could only mean that Gabriel’s return to heaven was kept a secret. But why? Castiel had expected the host to take advantage of the fact that they managed to secure an archangel they all had thought to be dead. It would have been the most sensational revelation since Lucifer’s rebellion. No... Raphael had lied to him almost incessantly but there must have been one point he had told the truth: they couldn’t risk for the other angels starting to question their purpose like Gabriel had done and in a trial this would be one of the main charges. In this regard it made perfectly sense to withhold the information about Gabriel’s imprisonment.

"Don’t you have something to do?"

Castiel nearly jumped in shock when a harsh voice spoke right into his ear. He slowly turned his head and regarded the other guardian next to him with a solemn gaze. His insignia identified him as captain. He most probably was in charge of prison right now.

"No, I have nowhere to be right now."

The other narrowed his eyes in annoyance at what sounded like an admission of laziness. "Follow me."

They stepped inside. Castiel had never been to heaven’s prison before but he kept pace with his companion, glad that he now had someone who knew his way around to lead him through the maze of crossing passages and hallways.

"I don’t think I have seen you before." The guardian stated casually and Castiel cleared his throat to buy himself a few seconds before answering.

_Keep it simple. Too much details and you’re bound to fail._

He definitely would not fail. There was too much at stake.

"I failed my garrison."

"Ah." The guardian didn’t press any further. Temporary degradation wasn’t that uncommon in heaven. To ask for specific reasons was considered bad manners, though. "First day?"

Castiel just nodded.

"I’m Jophaniel. And you are?"

"Cas...Casseel."

They had reached the staircase leading to the upper floors of the building. While they climbed upwards Jophaniel just prattled on. "I need someone to keep an eye on the prisoners on the second floor. We are understaffed right now and with Raphael’s newest pet keeping us occupied we’re in desperate need of help."

Both angels continued their way in silence. Castiel was completely lost in thought, the words he just heard repeating themselves over and over in his head. Raphael’s pet... it _had_ to be Gabriel they were talking about. Who else would be worth the attention of an archangel? But why did they call him a pet? Heaven’s messenger deserved to be treated with respect, regardless of the fact that he was actually imprisoned for treason.

"Here we are."

The almost cheery words of the captain brought Castiel out of his reverie and the seraph quickly looked around. The brightness of his surroundings nearly made him wince. His discomfort must have shown on his face because his companion smiled reassuringly and gently patted his back.

"Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. On this floor we’re keeping those too stubborn to see the error of their ways. The bright light is a constant reminder of Father’s all-embracing love they lost due to their irreverent behaviour."

A door on the other end of the floor flew open and two more guards stepped out. The look of pure excitement on their faces made Castiel frown.

"The angel Raphael brought in several weeks ago. He’s special."

"Special?"

"Yes." Jophaniel beckoned him closer and whispered conspiratorially. "It’s the messenger."

"Gabriel?" Not trusting his own voice, Castiel restricted himself to one-word sentences.

"I know, I know. We all thought he was dead but he’s really here. We don’t know exactly what he did but Raphael is more than just angry with him. He was rather adamant about the punishment this particular angel deserved."

"Punishment?"

Jophaniel threw him a curious look but the arrival of the other guards diverted his attention. "This is Casseel." Castiel nodded politely when they introduced themselves in return.

"I just told our new comrade about our special guest."

"Oh, yes." Zephias smiled dreamily. "He has the most beautiful wings I have ever seen in my whole life. I never thought the wings of an archangel would feel so...soft."

Jophaniel laughed."Raphael gave him to us for a little bit of... stress-relief is the word humans would use I think."

It was like a punch in the gut. Castiel felt his heart hammering in his chest while he listened to the three guards bragging on.

He never noticed when his hand closed around the hilt of his sword.

_Are you sure, Cas? There will be no turning back._

So much red staining the once so immaculate white walls. Castiel impassively stared at the bodies of his brothers.

_Whatever you do, try to keep a low profile._

Well, that definitely hadn’t worked out like he had planned. He always had known that from the moment he got Gabriel out of his cell his life would be forfeit. He had accepted that he would be hunted for the rest of his existence. But this was speeding his plans along in a way he had never anticipated. All of heaven must have felt the deaths of the guardians.

It wouldn’t take long now for reinforcements to storm the prison.

He really had to hurry. Castiel reached down and rolled Zephias over. The dark green eyes of the angel stared at him accusingly but Castiel paid them no heed. He quickly and methodically searched the robes of the dead guardian until he found the keys he was looking for.

The seraph ran down the floor. Hand already on the handle he hesitated.

_What if Gabriel doesn’t want you? You betrayed him after all._

Those thoughts were completely useless to him right now though and Castiel quickly pushed them into the farthest corner of his mind. First he needed to free his mate and when – _if_ – they survived, then there still would be enough time to talk about what happened.

 

+++

 

At first he thought the room was empty.

Castiel had already tried to contact Gabriel through his grace while he still was fumbling with the keys but there had been nothing. If he hadn't seen the guards coming out this very cell he never would have suspected an angel to be imprisoned here. It seemed as if Gabriel’s grace was just gone.

And then he saw him. The messenger was curled up in a corner, body hidden beneath his magnificent wings. When he heard the door open Gabriel raised his head, the links of the chain collaring him to the wall clinking in a pathetic rhythm.

The tiredness in Gabriel’s golden eyes was devastating.

They stared at each other, then Gabriel’s lips twisted into a scornful smirk.

"Come to take your share?"

Watching in stunned silence as his mate slowly climbed to his feet Castiel fought for something – _anything_ – to say but his mind came up blank.

Body trembling with the effort to keep himself upright Gabriel used the wall for support before he turned around, fanning out his wings in a terrifying display of resignation.

"Gabriel..."

"What?" The messenger looked over his shoulder, his eyes burning with emotions so raw and intense that Castiel nearly recoiled in shock. Pain, fear, anger, grief, flickered through the archangel's eyes, too fast for the seraph to distinguish.

"I don’t..."

"I take it you don’t like sloppy seconds." Gabriel interrupted him harshly and folded his wings against back. "You should have come sooner then."

"Gabriel, please." Castiel threw an anxious look towards the door. This escape was nothing like he imagined it to be. "We have to hurry."

No reaction.

Castiel stretched out his hand to touch him but stopped when Gabriel flinched violently away from him. "Please, let me help you."

"No."

"Gabriel..."

"No..." Gabriel whispered almost inaudibly and backed away. All of his bravado was gone and had left nothing but a broken, frightened angel in his place. "You have no right to come here, not after what you have done."

It nearly broke his heart to see his proud and vibrant mate reduced to this quivering mess but talking Gabriel into trusting him was something he couldn’t afford to do right now.

They were losing time.

Castiel stepped forward, his hand closing around Gabriel’s wrist in a vice-like grip. "We don’t have time for that! I’m here to rescue you and you will come with me!"

"You’re hurting me. Let go."

"I know you probably don’t want to have me around..." Castiel tried to reason with him but once again he had no chance to continue his sentence when Gabriel interrupted him.

"Damn right I don’t want you near me. Not after you stabbed me in the back like this. Now back off or I’ll call for the guards."

In this moment everything fell into place. Castiel cursed himself for not figuring it out sooner. The fact that he couldn’t sense Gabriel’s grace should have tipped him off right from the beginning but the seraph had been too occupied to wallow in righteous anger about the way his mate had been abused to see the truth.

They bound him. Gabriel’s grace was nearly gone, drained through the collar around his neck that kept him vulnerable and human enough for Raphael to deal out his punishment without having to fear about Gabriel fighting back. And in return the collar left Gabriel basically blind. He hadn’t even felt when Castiel had killed his guards.

Given the circumstances there was only one thing for him to do.

"I came here to make amends for my unintentional part in your decline by helping you escape." The grip he had on Gabriel’s wrist tightened and with a quick movement he dragged his mate forward. The messenger lost balance and stumbled against him and Castiel used the opportunity to keep his smaller vessel pressed against his own. "I will never come near you again if you wish so but right now we need to go."

Gabriel’s eyes widened in sudden understanding but it was too late.

"I’m sorry." The seraph raised his hand and with a carefully calculated punch he knocked Gabriel out. Lowering the now unconscious angel to the ground, he took out the set of keys he had taken from the guard and quickly worked his way through it. Finally he found the right one to unlock the collar and the moment the collar came free he felt the first sparks of Gabriel’s long suppressed grace brushing against his mind.

At least this part of his plan was working out exactly the way he had planned it. Drawing on the energy Gabriel emitted Castiel used the sudden increase in his power to throw them both out of heaven towards earth.

 

+++

 

"They are a liability."

"What are you talking about?" For once it was Raphael not able to follow his older brother’s train of thought. "Who’s a liability?"

"The angels that know about Gabriel."

Raphael just raised one eyebrow. "And? They won’t tell anyone."

"Are you sure?"

Michael left his chair and stepped in front of the healer, effectively stopping his impatient pacing. Raphael sighed and nodded.

"Yes, I’m sure. At least for now they won’t tell anyone anything about it. And when we finally have what we’re looking for..." He shrugged.

"Since we’re already talking about it: any progress with Gabriel?"

"No." Raphael’s face darkened with barely hidden anger. "I was sure he would give in after I let the others have a little bit of fun with him. But this foolish..."

Suddenly Michael shook his head, looking dazed. It took Raphael a few seconds to understand but then he felt it too.

"Damn."

Without hesitation, both archangels took flight, heading straight towards the prison but they already knew that they were too late to stop their younger brother from escaping.

 

**+++**

**Chapter 8**

**+++**

 

"It's the trickster."

"Yes, Dean. I heard you the first time."

"He brought the fucking trickster to our house!" The younger Winchester rolled his eyes, visibly counting to ten under his breath.

"Apparently he's not a trickster at all."

"How is that even possible?"

"I don't know. But it's a fact that he's Castiel's mate and we agreed to help them."

"He's a monster that killed me hundreds of times." Dean could be rather stubborn when he wanted to and although he had willingly agreed Castiel to help there still was the whole Broward County incident to make allowances for. There had been so much pain in the younger Winchester's eyes after they'd left those fateful Tuesdays behind and that was something Dean could never forgive.

Sam just shrugged and repeated that they had agreed to help.

"I know that!" Dean forcefully dragged his fingers through his hair. "But we can't just… I don't know what to do." He finally admitted and his shoulders sagged forward in defeat.

"Listen, I don’t say you have to welcome him into the family," At this point Dean snorted derisively but Sam remained completely unimpressed by his attitude. "We gave Cas our word and we have to accept that the being we have known as the trickster is not only an angel but Castiel’s mate."

"Yes, but... Can’t you see how hard it is for me to stay under one roof with this... this..."

"Monster." Both Winchesters turned around, clearly surprised to see the angel standing in the doorway. "I know that in your eyes he’s nothing but a heartless monster. There’s no need to pretend otherwise."

Dean looked distinctively embarrassed but was wise enough to keep his mouth shut.

Castiel stepped over the threshold, his face as impassive as ever, but the disappointed look in his eyes betrayed his feelings. "I’m sorry to cause you so much trouble but even if I had known that you already encountered my brother in the most unfortunate way I still would have sought your advice. You are the only ones I could ask for help. There is no-one else."

"Of course we'll help you, Cas. Please, don’t think that we don’t want you here. It’s just... you _know_ Dean."

"Hey!"

"Shut up." Sam sharply elbowed Dean into the side. Castiel’s lips were twitching in amusement.

"It’s fine, Sam. I’m not angry. Merely... disillusioned."

For a moment neither angel nor human said a word.

"Stop this useless jabbering and deal with the situation like grown-ups! The angel stays. _Both_ angels will stay." The gruff voice of Bobby interrupted the awkward stand-off in his living-room by forcefully closing the book he had been reading whilst trying to ignore their conversation. "Idjits."

"We won’t be staying for too long. As soon as Gabriel is well enough we will be on our way." Castiel quickly reassured them but Bobby would have none of it.

"No need to rush, boy. Take as long as you need."

The angel silently nodded his thanks. "I’ve settled him into the panic room but I have to warn you. Gabriel has been hurt in the most cruel way and when he wakes up he might lash out without realising that he’s not longer imprisoned. I will repair any possible damage he causes to your possessions."

"You know what happened to that overgrown pigeon in the basement?" Dean asked curiously but Bobby answered his gaze without even blinking.

"Trickster or not, after what Castiel told me there was no way in hell I’ll throw that poor boy out on his ass."

"But..."

"No, Dean. I told Bobby because it is his house and he deserves to know the truth seeing he is offering us shelter, but that doesn’t apply to you." The last time they had seen Castiel this stern and unyielding had been long ago, when he had still believed the lies heaven was feeding them, and Dean found himself completely shocked at the sudden change in behaviour.

"Thank you, Bobby Singer. You are a good man. I’m going back to my mate now." And with that the angel popped out of existence.

"Bobby..."

"No." The older hunter smiled enigmatically and Dean gave up. He knew when to admit defeat even if he really didn't want to.

 

+++

 

When Gabriel regained consciousness he was lying on a small cot in a room he had never seen before in his whole life. Confused, the archangel looked up to the huge air shaft above him and tried to figure out what exactly had happened.

His mind was completely blank.

The leisurely pace of the ventilator proved to be rather soothing and for a while Gabriel just stared at the ceiling, interestedly watching the alternating flickers of light and shadows dancing over the grey concrete.

_Gabriel..._

No. He didn’t want to remember. There was no need to remember. All he needed to know was that he wasn't in heaven anymore. Although, if this turned out to be an improvement or not remained to be seen.

_Gabriel..._

The archangel shook his head, violently trying to banish his memories into the farthest corner of his mind.

_You know that you can’t escape your own mind, don’t you?_

The door to his memories cracked open and Gabriel nearly cried in despair when the twirling mess of broken and torn fragments fit together into cold and cruel reality. Almost instantly his hand flew upwards but the constricting collar around his neck was gone.

Relieved, Gabriel instantly gathered his power, his instinct to flee almost overwhelming but then he came to his senses. Every use of his power would draw attention to him from his older brothers and that was something he just couldn't afford to happen. Besides, was it really fair to leave Castiel alone to face the wrath of their brothers? His memories of the young angel were disturbingly clear and as much as he wanted to hate the seraph for the role he had played in Raphael's scheming he just couldn't. Not after Castiel had risked his own life to save him.

_But had he really? What if this was nothing but another ploy to win his trust?_

The archangel felt sick at the prospect of being tricked once again. Could Castiel really be this cunning? Would he pretend to have turned his back on Raphael to worm his way into Gabriel's heart - just to play him in the most cruel way once again?

He really wished that his Father never had given that blasted horn to him. It was a constant reminder of his duties and a rather attractive incentive for those hell-bent on starting the apocalypse. His brothers and sisters were nothing but creative when it came to forcing someone to give in to their demands. Gabriel could tell those who asked a thing or two about that, knowing all too well that sooner or later he would have given in to their torture and handed the horn right over. Thankfully he had taken care of this problem aeons ago. The horn was absolutely safe. Not even he had the means to reach it anymore.

Not that it would stop his older brothers from hunting him down, trying to pry its location from him.

Speaking of... where the hell was he? Gabriel warily eyed the devil's trap adorning the grille covering the air shaft and used the smallest amount of his grace to check the building he was currently in. He felt numerous wards and traps and sigils protecting the place and their perfect design confirmed his conviction that he was in the home of a hunter – and a good one at that.

_Who would his little brother run to?_

He could only sense one human being in the near vicinity but near this being there was something different – like a blind spot to his vision. It irritated him. And whatever this spot was hiding wore the signature of Castiel’s grace.

_Of course..._

The answer was so simple it nearly made him laugh. It made sense for Castiel to hide in plain sight but it was a dangerous game he was playing. The warding he put on the Winchesters, and it couldn’t be anyone else Castiel was trying to hide, kept them invisible to every angel in creation but as soon as one of them came too close they would sense that something was amiss. Gabriel was sure he only needed to leave the cellar to basically fall over his brother's vessels.

_Oh, the naïve little..._

"Gabriel?"

The archangel quickly closed his eyes and tried his best to ignore his little brother. He definitely wasn’t up to dealing with Castiel right now but he should have known that the seraph wasn’t that easily defeated.

"I know that you are awake, Gabriel."

"What do you want, a gold medal?" The archangel snapped at him and finally sat up. His golden eyes were burning with barely restricted anger and to his satisfaction he saw Castiel’s confidence waver.

"I just wanted to make sure that..." The seraph hesitated, clearly unsure about how to continue. "I know I shouldn’t have hit you but there was no other way to free you. I wasn’t sure how you would feel after you woke up but it seems as if you’re doing better. Even your grace doesn’t feel as dark and twisted as before."

Silence fell over the room and when Gabriel’s narrowed his eyes in barely restricted anger the seraph immediately knew he had put his foot in it.

"Do you know what Michael did to me?" The archangel asked in a deadly calm voice and Castiel involuntarily took a step back. "The stain you originally felt on my grace was the pagan part of me. I lived for millennia on Earth and I learned to keep a low profile. Those pagans you and every other angel look down on were nice to me. They accepted me. They were my _family_."

Gabriel said nothing for a while. Then he sighed and continued. "The powers I used to play trickster with were a gift they gave to me, a gift Michael burned right out of me. There now is nothing but a bleeding, aching hole that will never heal. And it hurts. It hurts so much that I don’t how to go on like that."

"I’m..."

"When you say that you’re sorry I’m going to smite you." Gabriel interrupted him harshly. His eyes were clouded over, the vibrant gold dimmed by emotions so intense they seemed to absorb all the light. "I’m tired of running. And after what happened... I have nothing to lose. Not anymore. I’m damaged goods. Have been for a long time but I deceived myself by believing that there was nothing wrong with me. I never thought I ever would say this but I’m actually grateful that everything will be over for me soon." When he looked up the seraph was staring at him with wide, terrified eyes. The archangel shook his head and smiled sadly. "You can stop playing pretend now, Castiel."

Castiel was seemingly shocked into silence, staring at Gabriel as if he had never seen him before in his whole life and maybe that was the truth of the matter. Gabriel normally avoided opening his heart to anyone and kept the cheerful mask of the trickster firmly in place but now, after all the things he went through, he saw no reason in keeping up the façade any longer.

Castiel opened his mouth and closed it again without saying a word. Finally he took the two steps separating him from the cot and sat down heavily.

The messenger waited patiently.

"I don’t know what to say." Castiel admitted in a low voice and started fiddling with the seam of the trenchcoat he was wearing. Gabriel remembered vaguely that he had worn something different when he had freed him from his cell. He must have changed clothes as soon as they appeared on earth.

Why Castiel loved his trenchcoat so much was completely beyond him.

"I’m not sure if it will change anything between us but I want to apologise. As I told you before I will do anything to make amends for all the things I have done to you. I didn’t know what Raphael had planned and my ignorance towards the fact that you are my mate allowed Raphael to use me like a pawn. I can understand that you don’t want to have anything to do with me..."

"Stop, stop, stop. One moment!" Gabriel quickly held up his hand and Castiel obediently stopped talking. The archangel’s face showed deeply-felt disbelief. "You really want to tell me you didn’t know?! _Everyone_ recognises their mate the moment they meet."

"Well I didn’t. No-one ever took the time to explain those things to me. At first I even thought I was sick when my grace responded to yours!" Castiel retorted sharply, his temper flaring for the first time since they had started talking.

Gabriel just blinked at him. He was dreaming. He surely was. To have hope returned to him after it had been wrenched away so cruelly...

"All my life I wanted to find my mate. I thought that there was no-one for me." Castiel had stood up and was now approaching him slowly.

Was Castiel really telling the truth? Gabriel found the other angel answering his gaze solemnly. There was no lie in those beautiful blue eyes and the messenger found the barricades around his heart crumbling.

"All I ever wanted was someone to share my life with."

Gabriel smiled hesitantly and Castiel stretched out his hand, fingertips brushing over the soft skin of Gabriel’s face. It was clear that he was scared he would frighten the archangel with his advances but on the spur of the moment Gabriel grasped his hand, meshing their fingers together.

For a long time neither archangel nor seraph spoke, words not sufficient enough to convey their emotions. Then, carefully as if he was holding the most precious china, Castiel raised Gabriel's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss against his knuckles.

Blushing the archangel turned his head to the side but Castiel would have none of it. The usually shy and innocent seraph cradled Gabriel’s cheek in one hand and leaned forward. Blue eyes locked onto golden ones, desperately hoping for the faintest hint of acceptance before Castiel took one deep breath and went down on one knee, trustingly offering up his grace.

Gabriel was overwhelmed. Swallowing hard he couldn’t tear his eyes off the beautiful angel in front of him. Castiel’s grace was pure, light-blue perfection and it was his prerogative as the seraph’s chosen mate to accept this offer – or to refuse it.

After what seemed to be an eternity Gabriel finally found the the courage to lean forward and capture the lips of his mate in a loving kiss.

It was like coming home.

They lost themselves in the incredible feeling of being whole for the first time in their existence, every thought of avoiding any attention at all completely gone from their minds.

 

+++

 

Outside the Salvage Yard Michael passed the front door and waited for a moment on the threshold until he was sure that no-one had witnessed his entry. The human soul he could feel was fast asleep and although the house had been warded against almost everything there was nothing effective enough to keep angels out. In the back of his mind he registered that there was something in this house his senses were not able to see but the oldest angel decided to ignore it for the moment. First he would take care of his wayward little brothers. Still invisible, he slowly descended down the stairs into the basement.

 

+++

 

"I thought you would become a librarian or a healer."

Castiel chuckled lightly and continued to caress his mate’s hair with gentle movements. They were lying on the cot, snuggled against each other with the archangel’s arms around Castiel’s waist and Gabriel’s head tucked under the seraph’s chin.

Never before in his whole life Gabriel had felt this content. His life had never been perfect and there were many things he wasn’t proud of but this... this was all he ever wanted. The bond with his mate was humming deep inside him with their graces united in the most enticing way. Their closeness was slowly healing the wounds his older brothers had caused during his imprisonment. He finally was properly mated to the angel his Father had chosen for him and that was all that counted for now. Gabriel still couldn’t believe that after all the sins he had committed he still was allowed this blessing.

Castiel twisted one of the longer strands of Gabriel’s hair around his fingers, accidentally brushing against his shoulder-blades in the process. Almost immediately Gabriel tensed up and Castiel quickly withdrew his hand as if he had been burned. For long seconds they both didn’t move. Then, hesitantly at first but turning bolder within seconds, Castiel resumed his previous activity.

The archangel almost smiled in relief when the younger angel turned out to be considerate enough to spare them both the embarrassment of an apology.

It still would take a long time to build up enough trust to let Castiel touch his wings. Every time he closed his eyes he could feel all those unwanted touches, could feel foreign hands trailing over his feathers, and it made him feel sick. Gabriel was thankful that the seraph had refrained from asking for the prerogative of grooming although it was completely within his rights. In reaction to Gabriel’s insecurities, Castiel not once offered his own wings up for the traditional grooming, something that made him even more courteous in the messenger’s eyes.

"I still don’t understand why Raphael arrested you without telling everyone that you were back. And why did he..." The seraph quickly swallowed the words already dying on the tip of his tongue, the image of memory of Gabriel telling him how much he longed for his own death too much to bear.

Brought out of his reverie Gabriel decided that it was time for his mate to be let into the secret the archangel’s wanted to hide.

"Father is gone."

For a long moment Castiel said nothing, then he sighed dejectedly.

"I understand." He said and Gabriel knew he really did. With God gone there was no-one who was authorized to start the apocalypse. "They need the horn of judgement to make it official."

Gabriel agreed by momentarily tightening his grip. "When I left heaven I arranged it for our older brothers to think I had been killed in a fight against some demons. They declared me dead just like I had predicted. I wanted to cut off all the ties that connected me with my past and for a long time everything worked out just like I had planned. And then I met you."

"Do you regret our mating then?" A certain sadness had crept into the seraph’s voice and Gabriel quickly raised his head.

"No. Never. Don’t you ever dare to think that I don’t want you! Do you know how long I’ve waited for you?" Suddenly filled with the desperate need to prove without doubt that his mate was wanted Gabriel came up with a rather unconventional idea.

"I cannot give you my wings yet but I can give you something else." Gabriel meaningfully played with the button of Castiel’s trousers and tried to pry it open although his trembling fingers made this task rather difficult to complete. It took several seconds for the seraph to understand but then he quickly shook his head, his hand closing around Gabriel’s in a vice-like grip.

"Please, Castiel. Let me… let me give this to you. It’s all I have left."

"That’s stupid." Castiel twisted them around and the messenger found himself flat on his back, blinking up at the dark-haired seraph in surprise. "You have nothing to prove. Do you think I would be so egoistical after all you have been through?"

The kiss they shared was full of love and hope and promises, leaving them both breathless.

"We need warding..." Gabriel stated between two more kisses. This little detail had been bugging him for quite a while now but Castiel turned out to be rather successful at distracting him. His mate tried to kiss him one more time but the archangel put his hands against his chest, pushing him slightly back. "Our brothers won’t let themselves be kept out by the warding of this place. It’s impressive but we need..." Gabriel trailed off, a distant look in his eyes before he almost violently snapped back to attention. "Too late."

A split second later Castiel was grabbed and dragged back. Michael didn’t even spare him a second glance before he flung him into the nearest wall with a dismissive gesture. The seraph landed with a crash in some metal contraptions but Gabriel had no chance to check if he was alright.

Michaels hand closed around his neck, squeezing his throat with brutal force.

"Hello Gabriel."

Not even fully powered up was Gabriel a match for his older brother. Ever since his creation he had known that Michael was too strong, too powerful. Every session of battle training had ended up with a victorious Michael while Gabriel was pounded into the ground.

Life-long experience had taught the messenger that there was no sense in fighting so he kept completely still, silently praying that Michael was in the mood for a quick stroke that would end his existence.

"Gabriel, Gabriel. I’m really disappointed. You of all of my siblings should have known that you cannot run." Heaven’s general slowly raised Gabriel up until he was held up by the hand around his throat with his feet hanging several inches above the ground. "Do you know what will happen next?"

The messenger was dropped unceremoniously, landing in a heap at the feet of his older brother.

"Nice vessel, Mikey. Where did you find it?"

A brutal kick threw Gabriel backwards and before a chance to get up again Michael followed quickly, his foot pinning Gabriel's wrist to the ground. He leisurely increased the pressure by putting his whole weight and the right amount of power on it, enjoying the crunching sound of breaking bones.

"Don't worry about my vessel, Gabriel. It's only temporary."

He stepped back and Gabriel curled up into himself, his broken wrist cradled against his chest. Gauging by the pain throbbing through his bones it would take a long time for this one to heal.

"The horn, Gabriel. Now. Or you won't like what will happen next."

"I don't have it."

Behind the oldest angel Castiel had pushed himself up, sword already in his hands. Gabriel quickly continued, desperate to distract Michael from what was happening behind his back, all the while silently praying for a miracle that might help them win this unequal fight.

"The day I left heaven I prayed to Father to either take it away from me and let me go or strike me down this very instant. Guess what happened?"

The expression on Michael's face changed from superior to furious in an instant.

"Then you are of absolutely no use to us."

Just in time Michael whirled around, capturing Castiel's arm, already raised to strike down, and twisted him around. The seraph's sword clattered to the floor and Michael kicked it aside. His own weapon was already in his hands, the tip of the blade pressed against Castiel's throat.

Holding Castiel against his own body like a shield Michael once again faced the youngest archangel.

"Michael, please!" Gabriel still was on his knees, clearly terrified by the prospect of losing his mate. "The horn is forever out of your reach and still you insist on starting the apocalypse? It's not what Father wishes you to do!"

"Father is long gone!" For a short moment Michael sounded like a small boy that had lost his way but just a few seconds later his gaze hardened. "I'm sick of waiting for something that might never come. I will bring paradise to Earth and the humans that stay firmly with us and our cause will be allowed to live in harmony with angels forever."

"Yeah, sounds great. But guess what? No-one wants this so called paradise of yours." Dean Winchester appeared behind the open door of the panic room, the colt in his hands trained on Michael's forehead. "And now let Cas go."

There was no way to tell who was more surprised by the sudden appearance of the Winchesters – Michael or Gabriel.

Unfortunately Michael recovered from shock a split second sooner than his younger brother.

Moving the sword upwards with one sharp flick of his hand the blade immediately sliced the skin of Castiel's neck, before he pushed the seraph forward. Gabriel only just managed to catch him at the last possible moment and carefully lowered him to the floor.

"Son of a..." Dean pulled the trigger at the same time Sam snatched up Castiel’s blade and threw it at the archangel but it was too late. Michael was already gone.

The hunter whirled around. "Cas! How..."

"You might want to close your eyes." Gabriel advised tonelessly and, when the dying grace of the youngest angel illuminated the room with its harsh light, he finally allowed the unshed tears burning in his eyes to fall.

 

+++

 

"He’s just sitting there, holding Cas hand. It’s creepy."

Gabriel gently stroked back one dark coloured strand of hair before he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss on his mate’s forehead.

"What do you think he will do?"

The stairs were small and worn-down and Gabriel absent-mindedly climbed them, one hand trailing over the banister.

"We should make sure that something like this doesn’t happen again."

The floorboards were creaking under his steps and the three hunters turned towards him, their faces a mixture of mutually shared pain and resignation.

"Michael won’t come back. His work here is done." Gabriel entered the kitchen and stopped in front of the table.

"Will you..." Sam awkwardly cleared his throat. "Will you help us?"

"Yes." Gabriel sat down on the nearest chair, his gaze scrutinizing the faces of the three men opposite of him. Outside nightfall was setting in but so far nobody had bothered to turn on the lights. "I will do everything in my power to make them pay."

"Alright." Dean conceded carefully.

Involuntarily Gabriel felt a small smiled tugging at his lips. "Am I allowed to stay?"

"Of course." Sam promised to him before either of the others even had the slightest chance to answer.

"Then we should set to work."

He wasn’t sure if he would be around long enough to see if they really succeeded but at least he could make sure that they had a fair chance to tip the scale in their favour.

The hunters were caught up in planning their next move and Gabriel leaned back in his chair. Only a few short hours ago had he been blessed with his Father's most precious gift and when it was taken away from him the part of him that slowly had started to believe in faith again had died.

It wouldn’t be long before he followed his mate into oblivion but Gabriel wouldn’t have it any other way.

He smiled darkly, not noticing that the hunters had stopped talking and eyed him with various degrees of distrust.

When he learned that the host was working on starting the apocalypse Gabriel fully intended to stay on the sideline and let fate run its course. But then he had met Castiel and everything had changed.

No-one touched his mate and got away without feeling the consequences.

He was the archangel of judgement but his brothers conveniently seemed to have forgotten that. It was time to remind them of what he was capable of.

"Gabriel...?"

The messenger looked up, his golden eyes dangerously glowing in the dark.

The war had just begun.

 

END

 


End file.
